Some people we give so much of ourselves too. We put a lot of work into a friendship, a lot of hours of our life towards, and we devote time and energy to them enfolding those people into our life as if they become part of who we are.
When those individuals do not give back, don’t feel the same toward the friendship, don’t reciprocate with the needs you have as a friend yet call you a friend something dies inside. You begin to feel…less caring, less desirable to have their friendship or need to have them around. Have others felt this way?
I ask this because I have had a friend who has done this to me. I brought them into my world, took numerous hours out of my life for them, thought they cared because they said they did or did things that showed they did then turned and walked away; was the rock when they lost family members, was the person who helped them through manuscript writing and then I was also there when they needed ‘extra’. The problem is whenever I needed anything in return, support of any kind, a friend to engage in conversation, to talk to, to have a shoulder when a family member was lost or because they led me to think there was some connection there- I was slapped in the face with silence or commentary that they didn’t have time for that.
A friend should be there through the good and the bad, happy and sad, no matter what is going on. If you have a meltdown your friend is there. They aren’t there for just your needs. Maybe it is because my friend was a guy and not a girl, but I’m not the kind of person who has a lot of girlfriends, never have been. Don’t get me wrong I have wonderful girlfriends, but guys, except this one are truly great friends and tell me straight up how it is. This one just took advantage of my heart, my feelings and my soul.
Why am I saying this, well I walked away and they didn’t even care. I’ve heard nothing at all from this individual. Should I be thankful? Probably. Should I be angry? Have been. Should I be hurt? Yes.
I don’t care if this is how the person is wired and that they need to have ‘space’, do you not care if something happened to a friend? Do you not wonder when you don’t hear from someone for months if they are okay? It makes me wonder if I was really a friend at all or just an object. We should see people as people and not objects and I think that this person only saw me as that, an object.
Yes I am hurt, sad, angry, furious and feel like there is this unfinished business that needs to be said or a shoutfest between us but I also just want to cry from all the pain that I thought I was done with which they have caused.
Sometimes we just need to move on, forget about our friends who don’t give back and give to ourselves. That is the hard part, giving to me now. There is nothing I can do or say to make them realize they made a mistake and should be here beside me in the friendship. There is just nothing more to do.