I find it painful and humorous at the same time. I had contact briefly and now we are back to nothing. Nothing at all. Is it meant to be like this? It shouldn’t be because this to me is torture. Why do I even correspond and try to be friends with someone who doesn’t value friendship like I do? Is it a flaw or a part of me that says ‘you don’t treat others that way’.
The new year is approaching us quickly and maybe I need to shed light on this friendship in a new way. Maybe the best thing is for me to let it go. It hurts me more than it does provide for me. There is no value added when they are silent and sporadically come into my life. I may just need to cut the ties and turn my back on them for once in 12 years and if they reach to me the next time, turn a silent ear to them and keep walking even though I’ll be shedding tears and feeling a knife through my heart.
I’m just afraid of letting go.