Lines of communication

Recently I was informed by my fractured friend that they would like to keep communication open and be able to have clarifying questions. I almost jumped out of my skin because for years I have been asking for this. YEARS!!!! Apparently, they have come to some revelation in their life and feel ‘great’ about it. In a way I am agitated because they decided to not talk, not communicate, and brush me aside. Basically tossed our friendship away and all of a sudden they are back as if nothing is wrong. A part  of me wants to talk it through and get to the nitty gritty. If they have come to some revelation and want open communication then talk it through. The other part of me says, ‘NO!’ Everything is what they want and on their terms. 

Again, conflicted and yet I shouldn’t be. 

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The amusement park ride

I went to an amusement park and found the roller coaster ride that is more fun than what my fractured friend provides for me. It was great! Not only did I find one but several and then I got another message or two. I am truly stumped. Could it possibly be a New Year’s Resolution to be a better person and a better friend this year? It hasn’t happened in all the years prior but when I seem to be having a good time with others and keeping my distance for my own sanity they pop up. Stumped truly by what is happening.

I’m still trying to figure out everything and struggling. I want them in my life but don’t want the drama.It is difficult but there is so much history at the same time.

Its hard and although it has been very painful I’ve been making it through. They want to reconnect according to the emails I just don’t know how to go about it.

Here we go again

Too soon I say. Too premature I note. Nothing once again I find is there being received from my fractured friend. So was it just the moppy holiday season that brought out the ‘come hither’ friend from hiding or are they on vacation because I’d really like to not be in this roller coaster any longer. 

I’m told that psychologically we should stick to our routine but change it up a little bit. So get rid of the bad element and continue on with the rest. Ok so I am trying to do that and this friend is messing all of that up for me. 

UGH!!!

Roller coaster. If I wanted to ride one I’d go to an amusement park.