Disappointment through the years

Disappointment. It’s a heavy word. 

We learn from a young age that people can be disappointed in us for not helping our siblings with their homework, lying, not taking out the garbage, or various other items. Disappointment is all around us but we also learn to let it go and bounce back quickly. 

As we get older and feel more, disappointment is not as easy to let go. It sinks in and becomes part of our soul. Words don’t fall off as easily, we hit rock bottom when people put us down and tell us they are disappointed or they disappoint us. We take it personally when they hurt us. Disappointment becomes part of us. People say that it is easy to forget things and move on, but is it really when you have been disappointed by someone you trusted so much, gave your heart too and they ripped it to shreds? Is disappointment then so easy to get over?

I don’t believe that as we get older we get over disappointment as easily but if we could just let it all go I know it would probably make this world a better place overall. 
Daily Prompt: Disappointment

Fake friends

Fake. We can call a lot of things by this name: foods, handbags, brands, surgical procedures people receive (but I’ll be over here) but one of the most annoying things to me are friends who are fake.

You know the type. ‘Hi hon how are you?’ Kiss, kiss hug, hug and pretends to listen about your day but intently stares at their phone, chews their gum and then talks about themselves. Did they even hear what you were saying? 

I tried something one day with a friend like this I switched it up and did it to them. They asked if I had heard anything they said. I was in fact paying attention and heard every word they had said but I said, ‘you didn’t like it did you?’ I got their attention. Needless to say, they were one of those whom I threw out in my closet of friends recently. We don’t need fake friends in our lives. We need people who matter.

Daily Prompt: Fake

My closet of friends

It is spring and while many of us are busy doing spring cleaning I am cleaning out my closet- my closet of friends.

It is time to put aside those who are only there for themselves, only there for when they need something, never to listen, or to be there for something other than me. I’ve been hurt and meant to feel worthless and it is time to clear out my closet. So as spring is the best time to do cleaning so is it the best time to clear out those hanging around in my closet called life.

I’ve loved you all but I can’t make new memories any longer with skeletons. I need fresh memories with real people who care. So good bye to my closet of friends who Han around for themselves and hello to a new beginning. 

Daily Prompt: Closet 

Lucky Cat

I don’t like cats nor am I a cat person but I have these cats- my lucky cats. Each one holds their own ‘lucky’ charm. Of course I am not sure about this luck as it has yet to bring any of their true good fortune or happiness my way but maybe it is because I need to believe in them more or there is a hidden ritual I do not know about. In any regard here is what they should bring to me:

Gold- will make your dreams come true and bring you good luck in wealth.

Black- will protect you from illness and evil spirits.

Red- will bring you good fortune for business, good health for child.

White- will bring you good luck and happiness.

Blue- will make you calm and relaxed. 

I know that the cat with its left arm raised is usually seen in a business and maybe that is why they do not work for me, but more recently they have been seen in homes. So I thought I’d give it a try-why not. It’s been a couple years now and while most things are good the blue cat can do a little more work for me, it’s been rough lately. Red is pulling his weight. The others are- alright. 

We’ll see…I hear there are owls too. Maybe I’ll see how they do. Especially if there is one to ward off evil friends. 

  
Daily Prompt: Superstition

Clarity in friendship

Clarity. 

So much has become clear in the last month for me with my fractured friend. I’ve learned the following:

They know how to use people

They were only hanging around to get what they want

They didn’t care how others felt

They didn’t care to see if anyone else needed anything

They were selfish

They weren’t a friend after all

The last month has become very clear for me and I am very thankful to have come face to face with this and have clarity now instead of the murky lines that were there before between us. So much better to see who you really are. A giant weight has been lifted for me. 

Clarity is one of the best outlooks you can find. 

Daily Prompt: Clarity

Handwriting as an art form

Handwriting. Not texting, typing, using a phone, snapchat, tweeting, or any other form of social media. Actual pen to paper written words on a page. 

There aren’t very many people who do this any longer. I mean, write one another with paper and pen. A good friend and I do. Not the fractured friend I’ve been venting about. I’ll get there. My good friend and I find that there is an art handwriting a letter. We find the best card, paper, note and then put our words down on paper to each other and tell each how our lives have transpired over the month or couple months. It is nice. 

You can tell a lot by a persons handwriting. I use to get a card for my birthday every year from my grandmother. As the years went on you could see in her penmanship that her writing was getting shaky, her high loops weren’t as high any longer and her ‘o’ didn’t quite close all the way anymore. I still have my very first and very last cards I ever received with her handwriting. A memory I guess of a lovely, funny woman.
Now the fractured friend I’ve found that if I text or email they ‘might’ read what I’ve written and I ‘may’ get a response and I know there is never a guarantee that when I send something handwritten that they will read it but over the last 6 months I did notice it got their attention. I’m not sure if it was because of what I wrote or because they couldn’t hit delete and the message be fine immediately. There is something about seeing words written out. They burn into your mind differently than when you see them on a computer screen. I’m not sure if I will ever write them something ever again but I do know that it gets their attention. 

Handwriting something to someone should mean something. I know for as long as I can write I intend to keep it alive and well. 

Daily Prompt: Handwriting