For the longest time I was angry. Angry because my fractured friend didn’t bother to be a friend at all, care enough to call, email, text, do anything except be selfish and keep their distance. So I, being the person who I am had to push every feeling aside and keep my distance as well. I was angry for it, hurt by it, and destroyed.
It’s been a couple months since I last spoke to them and my anger has subsided. My feelings are now numb and I am able to move on- or so I thought. Being as we work in the same field there was a powerful speech the other day on YouTube so I emailed it to them. I did not expect a response as I haven’t heard from them in months ( remember no phone calls, email, text- nothing) so why would I get anything back now right? Wrong. In my inbox there it was, a lone response. I was angry when I saw it and conflicted because I was the one who sent the email first so I shouldn’t have been so angry but my thoughts went to why not? Did you have enough space and time to think and now you want to be friends again? Are you ready to be friends? Is your head in the right place to be able to be a friend and have an adult conversation? All kinds of questions were going through my head but I told myself, ‘ put the anger aside. It won’t do you any good here. It is in the past. Let it go.’
Sometimes we may be angry and feel like we just can’t let it go but we must step back and breathe, count to 10 or more if needed and know it will be ok.
I read the email after I breathed and counted to 10. I was stunned to find my friend, as I suspected, needs time and even though I emailed and they emailed back I am not in a place to open the friendship back up right now.
It felt good to let the anger go.