It still bothers me to see things from this fractured friendship. A note, a message, even a simple phone number. It sets off an inner fire inside that is ready to detonate and explode with rage at seeing the things that I counted on as a friend but truly were just what I call “front facing bs” now.
Meaningless items that to some can be tossed aside and disregarded but to me it is painful and will take time to get over. I’ve said it out here before-I’m hurt. I thought I could rely on my friend to always be there but I learned the hard way and found out that they just lied to me all along. They broke my trust bubble and now when I meet new people I am constantly wary of becoming a friend or letting them into my inner circle. This person has left a deep scar on my life and it is taking a while to heal. With each item I see that reminds me and it isn’t like I keep a box of items around from them these things just pop up, like an email address or a phone number you can’t find them all at once, but when they pop up you see them and little explosions set off.
I know one day I will be numb to it all, but for now the pain is real.